im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
