Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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