I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
