hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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