seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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