My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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