I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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