Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
