I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he just fucked me for my cheese..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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