it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize