dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
