I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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