So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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