Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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