I got chris browned last night
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
