Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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