at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
