I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
