Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
