You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize