Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
zippers are such a cool invention
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
