Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
