I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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