Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize