I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
