Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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