it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Everything about him screamed your future.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
