but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
