it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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