did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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