Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
