it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
