I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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