You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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