I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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