i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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