Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
