We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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