Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
