I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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