i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
