I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
