so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
