I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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