they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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