Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
