what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We need to get me chipped asap
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
