and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
