could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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