So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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