I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
