Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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