nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
