Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
