dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
