I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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