Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
