Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize