Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
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Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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