I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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