smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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