I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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