i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
