I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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