she woke up with a sticky ear
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am naked and annoyed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
