Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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