Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it's like iHOP with fire
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
